At playgroup today we were talking about another mom in the group who is finalizing adoption papers on the little boy she has had, from foster care, for a year. The ladies were saying how wonderful it was and yada, yada, yada. I mentioned that I have a couple of friends that are wanting to adopt, but they really only want a baby. Apparently I said something wrong because 4 grown women's mouths dropped open in astonishment when I suggested that adopting a slightly older child would be just as rewarding. They proceeded to tell me how they couldn't raise a child without hearing their first words or being there for their first steps. I think raising a child has more to do with the connection between parent and child and less to do with first steps...but, according to them, I am wrong.
I say all this as an outsider. I have never considered adoption because parenting is not something I ever really wanted to do. I have a daughter and I don't understand the need? to be a parent. I think if I really wanted to parent I would take what I can get, and not limit myself to a baby. If a 1 year old was available I would take it. Furthermore, I think parenting a child who may or may not have had a rough start, takes real commitment and a high caliber of person. I think adoptive parents are much needed and under appreciated!
Mostly, I am upset and saddened by these women in my group. I don't think like them on most things. When I do express a different opinion, I wish they wouldn't go out of their way to tell me how wrong I am. I wish these 'good christian (i.e. Mormon)' women would have a little more tolerance and love for others. It's not like I'm an axe murderer or have the plague, I am just a crazy (literally) woman who is trying to do the best I can for myself and my little family. It shouldn't be wrong to not love babies. I shouldn't be wrong to want something more in life than a small town and a husband that pays the bills. It shouldn't be wrong to have an opinion and express it-but apparently, it is.