Thursday, March 11, 2010


At playgroup today we were talking about another mom in the group who is finalizing adoption papers on the little boy she has had, from foster care, for a year. The ladies were saying how wonderful it was and yada, yada, yada. I mentioned that I have a couple of friends that are wanting to adopt, but they really only want a baby. Apparently I said something wrong because 4 grown women's mouths dropped open in astonishment when I suggested that adopting a slightly older child would be just as rewarding. They proceeded to tell me how they couldn't raise a child without hearing their first words or being there for their first steps. I think raising a child has more to do with the connection between parent and child and less to do with first steps...but, according to them, I am wrong.
I say all this as an outsider. I have never considered adoption because parenting is not something I ever really wanted to do. I have a daughter and I don't understand the need? to be a parent. I think if I really wanted to parent I would take what I can get, and not limit myself to a baby. If a 1 year old was available I would take it. Furthermore, I think parenting a child who may or may not have had a rough start, takes real commitment and a high caliber of person. I think adoptive parents are much needed and under appreciated!
Mostly, I am upset and saddened by these women in my group. I don't think like them on most things. When I do express a different opinion, I wish they wouldn't go out of their way to tell me how wrong I am. I wish these 'good christian (i.e. Mormon)' women would have a little more tolerance and love for others. It's not like I'm an axe murderer or have the plague, I am just a crazy (literally) woman who is trying to do the best I can for myself and my little family. It shouldn't be wrong to not love babies. I shouldn't be wrong to want something more in life than a small town and a husband that pays the bills. It shouldn't be wrong to have an opinion and express it-but apparently, it is.

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