Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Other Air

I was reminded today that the things you despise most about others are the things you despise most about yourself. What is it I really can't stand in others? What do I look at and turn away in disgust? Many things I see that I hate and secretly want to have/be, for instance: Style. I saw a woman in the store today that was pretty with nice hair and perfect, subtle makeup and an attractive outfit with adorable shoes. I hated her instantly-more to the point-I wanted to be her instantly. She gave the air of 'success.' I want to have that. I think at one time in my life I was on my way to outwardly having that, but inside I was far removed from success. I think now, that if I had inward success then the outward wouldn't matter so much. Confidence, they say, comes from within.
There are those in my life who reek of...passion. Passion for life, passion for work, passion for learning, passion for others. My 3 year-old has a passion for life, for learning, for humor, for movement and activity. I hope that these traits offer her many opportunities throughout life. I hope that these innate traits she can carry into adulthood. (Inside I hope I don't do something to break her of passion-it is always the mothers fault-right?) I wonder what traits I showed early in life...I wonder why they have left me. Maybe I have just reached the 'quiet time' of my life, and now I need to learn to be.

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