Thursday, April 8, 2010


The last couple of days my daughter has been very clingy. She wants to hold my hand all the time, she wants me to watch every move she makes, she wants me to snug her at night. This is new behavior for her. She has always been very independent and sure of herself. I can't help wondering if I have done something to change her independence? Most likely this is just a phase, but... Right this second, she is asleep on my lap. She didn't want to play in her room, she wanted to be right next to me on the computer, and then fell asleep snugging me. I can't remember the last time she fell asleep in my lap, it has probably been since the last time she was sick 2 or 3 months ago. Like I said, this is strange behavior.
In my meager experience, my kid grows and changes so fast that I am always playing catch-up. She turns corners so fast that sometimes I miss it. Donny and I were looking at old pictures of her the other day, and even since Christmas she has changed not only physically, but emotionally. Isn't it ironic that kids change without even thinking about it and adults mull over ever little thing and then don't change at all.
The difference is control. Kids only know change, they can't control it and are usually confident enough to roll with the punches. By the time we reach adulthood, we hold on tight to who we think we are and what we think we should be and don't allow ourselves the freedom to roll with the punches. I wish I could pinpoint that moment. The moment I decided who I was...the moment I decided to fight for small changes at the expense of the big changes.
"The idea is to become master, and in our old age do what children did when they new nothing." I don't remember who said that (or even if I quoted it correctly!) but, there is truth in the sentiment. Kids just naturally are masters of change and adults don't seem to allow themselves the same luxury-and we should!

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