LOCAL

Have you ever noticed that pay-day is the busiest day of the week? Groceries to buy, bills to pay, gas to pump. I end up spending at least an entire morning just running 'errands.' I noticed today while out doing the weekly errands that each place I went, I knew people. I ran into friends in every store I went in...friends that, though I may not hang out with, I still feel like I know. It was strange to realize how many faces I recognize and how many people I say HI to throughout the course of the day. When I feel like I am alone I need to bookmark this day and remind myself that there are people out there who know me and care about me. I have officially become LOCAL!

What to Say?!?!?

I have so much on my mind lately that I can't seem to complete any thoughts...but, here goes: ICEE's are not a good alternative to Dr. Pepper. Turns out, when I was making my 'better' choice this afternoon to opt for a beverage other than the standard, I was WAY WRONG! Just so you know!

Bad Weather

Bad weather has put me in a bad mood. The sun is kinda shining, but the wind is blowing and the clouds are sprinkling. For two days now my daughter and I have had to stay inside for the most part and it is taking a toll in me. I need Kristin to have a nap everyday to that I can unwind for a minute and gear up for the evening. She doesn't have a nap if she doesn't play at the park for an hour or so in the morning and burn up all her energy. Her increased energy is truly draining me!!
I have been trying to figure out why I do things that make me uncomfortable, like go to play group regularly. I have come up with a very simple answer: it is better to try to be social and make friends and talk with other moms, than it is to sit home and hate. On a good day, I hate about half of what I do (laundry, cooking, cleaning, child-rearing responsibilities, husband-rearing responsibilities etc.) I do so many things because it is my job. Because Mom has to manage to keep it together otherwise, everything falls apart.
I have a good husband who is a good provider and does it willingly. He works 10+hours a day so that I can stay home with Kristin. He has such a good attitude about it too-for him, it is a pleasure to go to work. Not because of his job, but because he loves Kristin and I and our little family so much. He is living his dream of stable family life-a dream that, sadly, he hasn't lived before. I need to be more appreciative of him. As for me, I am not living my dream. I missed my chance to live a dream because I was too caught up in-overwhelming sadness. It is all in the attitude, as they say. I need to change my attitude and accept that this is my life, and maybe if I didn't hate so much, I might actually enjoy the hours at the park or the hours at home or the play group ladies and all of their drama. That is the thing isn't it...how do I change my attitude? How do I disguise my distrust of the world, how do I get over regret and missed opportunities, how do I become the person I should be inside while making dinners and sitting at the park? I just want it all to go away. I want to start over, make better choices earlier in life. I want to enjoy this moment-because that is all I have.

Families

I just posted this for sale on Etsy.com. Classic Mormon saying for a girl like me, right!?!?

600 Visits

Thank you everyone for visiting my BLOG! When we reach 1,000 visits all you faithful-and I know who most of you are- can get it on a drawing for table runners. (Any color suggestions or size specifics e-mail me!)

Thank you all for listening. I love and appreciate your time and patience for my insanity.
Miriam

Sleeping on It

After sleeping on the progress I made with my Scrappy Fence yesterday, I realized that I don't want to make another table runner. In my home I only have one or two spots to put runners and I'm ready to move onto bigger things. I went back to the fabric pile and found more coordinating fabrics that will work with what I've started and I will be making a lap quilt instead of a runner.
This is all part of the process. It is the creative and problem-solving process that I love I love that I can come up with a solution to most fabric-related issues, I like the challenge of 'doing with what I have.' I like the simplicity of squares. The hum of the sewing machine has a calming effect on me...I need more clam in my life.
I need to find a way to calm my brain and tame my emotions and get over some things . Did you ever see the movie Dreamcatcher. The movie is based on a Stephen King novel. Anyway, the main character keeps all his memories in a circular storage warehouse. He envisions an actual warehouse where he can physically look at the pages of his life. He can file away new information and get rid of outdated thoughts. Wouldn't it be great if all our minds worked like that?!? I was told one time that all my baggage was neatly packed in purple suitcases ready to move with me. Maybe I should start thinking about renting a storage unit and unpack some emotional baggage so I don't have to carry it with me all the time. Maybe I should think about getting rid of some stuff-I don't think I need most of my 'bad childhood memories' file anymore. I wish...I wish I could throw all my luggage into a river and start a new life. Maybe reincarnation isn't such a bad idea after all-leave it to Stephen King to figure things out! (Oh yah, and all of the Buddists in the world)

An Hour or So

Practice Layout

Actual Waste

Get a Trim

Strips of Scraps

In an hour or so, I am ready to sew the runner. It will have to wait for another day because nap time is almost over.